Always Apologizing

Alrighty! Here we go again! The last year brought many events, and none of which I blogged about. The last year has been a whirlwind, and I seem to just now be catching my breath (maybe!) I have seriously missed out on posting my Friday confessions that I loved so much, and my Saturday happy lists. I will have to get back to that!

I have to tell a bit about last year...I'm sure those of you who know me well get tired of hearing about it, but I was very ill last year. I went to a church Young Women Camp June 2011. I had a GREAT time! Here's a snapshot

I was blessed to be a leader to about 15 teenage girls! I know, quite a job. But, the spirit of these girls was amazing! I learned so much. I love how much you can see these girls grow spiritually after a week with less provisions than we are use to living with. Thankfully, we still have running water...real toilets and real showers! So, we are not TOTALLY deprived!!

Anyway, we got back from camp on a Saturday afternoon. Went to church on Sunday. Worked out on Monday. Was sicker than a dog on Tuesday!!! I thought maybe I had gotten sick from the ONE tick I pulled off my belly while at camp. Thought maybe it was a 24 hour flu bug. BUT, when I woke up Wednesday and was still throwing up and SUPER dizzy, I had a friend drive me to the doctor. Little did I know that the scariest experience of my life was before me.

The doctor sent me to the Emergency Room. I decided I would go to the one closest to my house. (a smaller campus) The doctor did not lead me to believe that I was as sick as I was (either that, or I just don't remember...I was pretty out of it.) When I got to the ER, my blood pressure was only 60/40, I was barely alive. I was running a really high fever, and couldn't keep anything down. I hadn't eaten since Monday night. They immediately began running a BUNCH of tests. They tried to get a spinal tap...I was so dehydrated that they couldn't get it. In the meantime, Andy was on his way home from Manhattan, KS once he found out the doctor sent me to the ER. My friend Debbie was SO fantastic in taking care of me that day! I am SUPER blessed to have her as my friend. The ER decided to admit me, so I rode the ambulance that day. VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, by the way. Anyhow, once I got there, they proceeded to put a pic line in my neck and fed 5 different IV lines into me. They pumped TONS of fluid into me before the day ended. So many I can't even remember. In the beginning I was on 7 different anti-biotics. After they ruled out a certain infection, they would eliminate antibiotics one at a time. They were certain it was Toxic Shock Syndrome. I could not understand that, because I had always been careful. I knew how dangerous that could be. I was still convinced it was Lymes Disease. In fact, Lymes Disease and Toxic Shock Syndrome were the last two infections I was receiving antibiotics for by the last two days of my hospital stay. (This is a long story...sorry...but it's for my journaling, as well).

My poor husband, was not sleeping well. I was truly starting to feel better. So, on my third or fourth night there, he was not feeling great and not sleeping great, so I told him to go home. I was more alert that day, not sleeping as much, and really felt that I would be okay by myself. About 5am, I started having horrible pain in my chest. It felt like heart burn. And since I hadn't eaten for 3-4 days, I was sure the stomach acid in my body was causing the pain. Well, thanks to a nurse taking GREAT care of me, we found out that I was probably having a heart attack because of the infection. I had EKGs done a couple times. I was still running a fever, but the cardiologist was called and felt that an angiogram should be done. No blockages, and the heart was well. But, the infection had cause some damage (about 5% damage, between my heart and my lungs). SCARY!!! I was SO worried. I cried. A LOT!!! But after the angiogram, whatever they used to put me under, let me sleep really well. When I woke up from that, I felt SO much better. Shortly after, I was moved out of ICU. I was so grateful for that, because I knew that meant I was on the mend. On June 26, I got to go home. I was still very week. AND from laying on my back for so long, my lungs were weak, and I had a dry cough for quite some time after. I left the hospital still not knowing what caused me to be so ill. I had an infecious disease specialist follow up appointment two weeks after I got out though. When I went there, I found out it was an intestinal strain of Toxic Shock Syndrome. This was very scary. Because the survival rate for people who get TSS is only 40%. It was obvious to me that Heavenly Father still had work for me to do!

WHEW!!! Long story finished.

After that, I had a month to recover before going to the Angelman Syndrome Foundation Conference in Salt Lake City, UT. It was a fantastic trip. Here are a few photos. We enjoyed the falls! They were beautiful.We went to the Salt Lake. Boy, it was stinky. Dead birds all over the place. But, I had never been there, so I had to go see what it was all about.

Andy and I had a very enjoyable time. It totally was a refreshing experience that was VERY needed. I truly don't think our children felt the same way. Zoie and Baylee were very disturbed, as they had just been without me for quite a time the month before. We were able to enjoy our drive through the mountains. And enjoy beautiful weather. While we were in Utah, it was 114 in Wichita, KS. Needless to say, we were not missing that!

A month later. I was back in the hospital. Gall bladder this time. CRAZY!! To me, it felt like a heart attack, which is what caused us to go in in the first place. So, we got that sucker taken out so I didn't have to worry about that feeling ever again!!

After that, life smoothed out quite a bit. It was quite funny, I was asked to give a talk in church on adversity shortly after all my episodes. I really can't for the life of me figure out why they asked me to give that talk! (LOL!!)

A couple months later I was asked to be the Relief Society President of the Rolling Hills Ward. This is a big assignment. But, I was thrilled to do it. You see, the people who took care of me most while I was going through both of my ordeals, were the very Relief Society Sisters that I now serve. I love them so very much! I am grateful for this experience. It allows me to dive into my scripture studies more often (because I am not great at doing this on my own. This prods me along a little). It also gives me the opportunites to serve others. My Heavenly Father knows me SO well! He knew exactly what I needed.

The year finished out great! Ya know, all the holidays and good food. SO great, that I have now gained back about half the weight I lost. UGH!! Time to get back to work. So, in order to motivate me more, I'm going to try to do my weekly weigh in on here again. That is if I can keep up my blogging.

I leave you with this past Angelman Syndrome Walk photo of my family. My reason for living!



Weekly Weigh In

As of Today, I have lost a total of 14 pounds! I am super excited!! Only 36 more to go by the end of July! I was really suprised to lose this much this week. I haven't been exercising like normal, so I was expecting a little loss. But, 4 pounds in one week? I'll take it. I'm excited because I'm starting to feel it in my clothes. Not big differences, not things that people would notice by looking at me, but I feel it. So, anyway, there's my weekly update! I kinda updated in the confessional, but wanted to journal this as well!

Confession Friday

Today is Friday, and that means Confession Time

I confess, I missed last weeks' confession. I didn't even realize it until Saturday.

I confess, I have trouble with forgetting things....ALL THE TIME!! I even have TWO calendars!!! Yes, I said two. AND, I still forget!! I can't help it. I think it's my age getting to me! Anyone relate?

I confess, this losing weight thing is tough! But, I tell ya, once you get use to eating a certain way, it gets a little easier. It's not as difficult to figure out what to eat. You just kinda know. But, excitedly, I have lost 14 pounds so far and I am SUPER duper excited!!!! I'm actually starting to "feel" like I'm losing, and that's a great feeling!!

I confess, even though it's a bit easier, I still am REALLY hungry for chocolate cake or a Reese's Peanut Butter cup! :(

I confess, I did not work out much this week. My workout buddy was at home tending a sick little girl, and I used that time to catch up on sleep(since my Zoie doesn't like to sleep through the night!) AND to do a little housekeeping (not as much as I should have)

Anyhow, I am not feeling all that creative today...so sorry if I bore you! Just didn't want to miss the chance to confess again! Happy Friday everyone! Enjoy your weekend!!

Rare Disease Awareness Day

Today, in honor of Rare Disease Day, those who know about it, are wearing blue jeans! I have mine on! (of course, for me, it is my everyday preference) Angelman Syndrome is listed within the list of rare diseases. The following video gives some information about Angelman Syndrome, and the song just makes me cry EVERY time!!

I hope you learn something from this video. I certainly did! My little girls are angels, and we need a cure! Let's work together to raise awareness! If you would like to donate to our personal fundraising page with the Angelman Syndrome Foundation click here . We appreciate anything you can do! Prayers are welcome also! A cure is SO close. Angelman Syndrome has been reversed in the mouse model, now we just need to find a way to reverse it in humans! Make life easier for all the angels out there, donate to help find a cure!

Weekly Weigh In

As of today, I have lost 10 pounds! Only 40 more to go before the end of July!! I am so excited! I have been watching what I eat for about 4 weeks. If I can keep up this pace for the rest of the time I will exceed my goal! But, I do not want to get ahead of myself! This week was really tough. With Valentine's Day in the mix, the kids got candy! LOTS, and lots of candy. I managed to stay away from it, but had a difficult time staying away from the brownies I made and the lemon bars I made. I did look up calorie count for them, and made sure to journal that I ate them. BUT, I have to stay away!!!

Anyhow, I promised I would update! Wish me continued luck!

Confession Time Again!

It is FRIDAY!! Time to confess some things again! Try to remember last week, as some may link together!!!

1. I confess, NO!! I have NEVER used my French again for ANYTHING!! Sad, isn't it?!

2. I confess, When I went back to Western Kansas to Garden City Community College, they only offered Spanish, so I changed languages! Conjugating verbs was never the same again....I kept getting them SO mixed up!  AND, no I've never used Spanish either!

3. I confess, I was one of those kids in junior high that went to the skating rink EVERY friday night, and sometimes saturday night! HAD to be there!!!

4. I confess, I sometimes over spoil my oldest daughter because she helps out SO much with her sisters! She is one of my greatest accomplishments! She is so kind, loving and generous with her belongings and her time.

5. I confess, I'm at a loss for words today....I know, it doesn't happen very often. I kinda like to talk...a lot! I am definitely a social person, and hate not being around people for too long. I go completely stir crazy!!

Anyone else have any confessions to share! Click on the Confession button on the right hand side of the page and it will take you to confession to link up with others. It's great fun to learn about others! Join in! What will be your confession this week?

Happy Valentine's Day

Today is a day that is SO over commercialized! I like to have an excuse to get my kids something. My husband and I generally don't exchange gifts. We kinda do that throughout the year. Honestly, I like it better that way! It's more spontaneous, and much more of a surprise.

This weekend was my first Sunday to teach the Young Women. I had been teaching 6 and 7 year old kids for the past 2 years. So, mostly since it was my first Sunday with them, but also because Valentine's Day was coming up. I made these treats for my girls.

Jenna and I both sat down and made Valentine's Saturday night. We had so much fun! We also baked brownies and lemon bars. It was a good evening.

Well, although I feel it's a commercialized holiday, I still am very grateful for the love I have in my life. My husband and my children are my all! They lift me up when I am down. They make me smile! They give my life meaning and purpose. I love my Valentines! Always have, ALWAYS will!!